2010 Year In Review

This year has not been my most successful year. This year has not been my happiest year. You could say this has been the worst year of my life. In January I got divorced. After twelve years my wife left me. You can go back and read the details. I am still working through this daily. The truth is I am still very much in love with her but she has moved on..and on...and on. I lost my job in October along with the job went the insurance. Which is a big ouch. The biggest part of the year I had gout in one or both ankles. For anyone who has never had gout. It sucks. It sucks big time! Plus it hurts like a mother huncher. My wife has started dating formally. Even though I only hear about it from my sons (no prying from me) it kills me. It absolutely kills me. The biggest problem with that is that I'm not over her. I will have to work on this also. BUT....this year has not all been doom and gloom. There are some very positive things that came out of this year. I have lost nearly 200 lbs. Let me say that again... 200 lbs. That's like three supermodels. I feel the best I have felt in a long time. I get out and do more than I have in years. I watch movies at the theater now. I go to my kid's school programs. I take my boys out to eat. I take my boys to visit my friends and they love my friends!!! Plus I have friends. I never honestly knew that I had so many friends that loved and cared for me so much.  I have met and maintain ties with friends that I have met on this blog. They are awesome. You know you are. I have started going to church again. I am a born again Christan. I don't preach to others. You know the shape and destination of your soul. You don't need my two cents worth. I started praying for peace and comfort I have received peace and comfort from time to time and I am thankful. Even though I do get down and out I am strong enough to pull myself back out of the muck. I have the strength to overcome anything as long as I put my heart and soul into it. Don't get me wrong I am not experiencing a bout of prison religion. I have always felt that I could live a better life. Now I am. My boys love their dad very much. I love every minute I spend with them. They are awesome to be around and I look forward to seeing them as much as I can. They love their SWEET DADDY and I love my bird turds!! 2011 may not get any better, it may be the best year of my life. Only time will tell. No longer will I look at tomorrow with my head down in a defeated manner. When I meet the future it will be eye to eye.

Good Heart

It seems my time runs out faster than a hour glass with a vacuum hooked to the other end!!! Things are going pretty good right now. That is everywhere except on the job front. They have told me that it was a matter of time before I get laid off. I have been at my current job for twelve years and I will have to go home shortly. That really puts everything in jeopardy like my house, lively hood, and general overall happiness. I used to really worry about that but now it doesn't bother me so much. The only thing it is probably going to effect where my boys live and that sucks. The boys and I are having some pretty memorable times. My boys have discovered comics. I was thrilled when this happened because they were so into wrestling. I am hoping to bring them over from the dark side. My youngest will sit and look at a comic for hours on end. He can only read the simple short words but I think the thrill is the story he makes up in his mind. My oldest started playing middle school football this year but decided it wasn't for him. He tried to quit two other times before and backed out. He told me he was afraid that it would make me mad or that I would be disappointed in him. I told him that he had to do what made him happy and that I was proud of him no matter what he decided. Over the past year I have discovered that my boys love me more than I ever could have imagined. The thing is that I thought that I was an embarrassment to them because of my size but they don't seem to care or notice. My oldest the other day stayed behind to make sure I could make it up three flights of stairs and even stood at the top and waited on me with an outstretched hand. Later I told him thank you for not just leaving me and he said I would never leave you daddy. Next Sunday will be a year for me and a very special friend. She has been by my side almost all the way through this and I couldn't imagine being where I am today without her. Our friendship has grown so much over the last year she is truly a blessing to me and I am very thankful for her. My boys and I are closer than we've ever been and I have discovered several other long lost friends who keep me thoroughly entertained and happy. My ex-wife...well she is another story. I still love her very much. She is lost. Lost in a world of her own making and for once in my life I feel sorry for her. Here's to life and how we choose to live it!!!

Things My Boys Say

My boys are pretty much in the loop on everything that is going on in the world whether it is music, movies, wrestling (damn it), and somewhat fashion. It kills me to be going down the road and an Eminem song comes on and my youngest will start bobbing his head and waving his hands. It is sooo hilarious!!! But along with that comes a few bad words ever now and again. Mmmmm....not so good. Sweet Daddy not so proud!!

Me: Say my favorite words!!
My youngest: I love you Sweet Daddy!!

My oldest: Hey there is one of the teachers from my school. She teaches Special Ed.
My youngest: Aren't you in her class? (Sorry I had to laugh no offense to anyone with a special needs child)

My boys: What are we having for supper?
Me: Two cold beers and a bologna sandwich!!

While sitting at a Mexican restaurant when a mariachi band starts playing "Sweet Home Alabama".

My oldest: Wth?!?!
Me: What?
My oldest: What's next "Free bird"?

Me: How is your mom feeling?
My oldest: She still pretty much hates you!
Me: I said how is she feeling?!
My oldest: Oh...better. (shit eating grin)

Me: How much do you miss me?
My youngest: I miss you more than my heart beats daddy!!!

They keep me on my toes that is a fact. I love having them around even though they destroy a clean house faster than a swarm of biblical locusts!!

Summer 2010

It seems summer has come and gone. The boys as far as I can tell had a pretty good summer. They didn't go on any long trips but they seen every movie that came out (ones that an 11 and 6 year old could see) and they got to go swimming a lot. They both have adjusted to the divorce pretty well. I think the youngest has adjusted the best. My oldest seems to be having some lingering effects. I guess that could be my fault because he sees the pendulum swing in very opposite directions. See I'm still very much in love with his mother but she has moved on with her life. It's not good for him to see me linger but I have to take care of my own sanity. Soon there will be a new man in her life and he will have to deal with that. I will too but it will be harder on him. I am down over 119 lbs now and continue to lose weight. I have a long way to go but the world in opening up to me quickly. There are numerous things that I can do now that I couldn't or wouldn't dare attempt before. The boys are enjoying my new found freedom and my friends are enjoying the time they are getting to spend with me. It seems while I was married I ignored my friends because my wife pretty much didn't like any of them. While she continued to foster new and increasingly intimate friendships I was dependent upon her as my sole outlet. Now I realize that was a whole level of life that I was missing out on. The boys look up to me and expect me to take them everywhere and especially spoil them. It seems that now the roles have reversed where once mom was the person to take them everywhere and do everything with them now dad is there sole source of entertainment. Summer for them is over. Soon football and soccer games will dominate my weeknights and work will continue to dominate the rest of my time. I have no desire to meet anyone as I have many issues to work out about my ex. I hope everyone had/has an awesome summer.

A Month: WTH!!!

Where has all the time gone? No one can tell me. Things are going pretty good, and they have been for a while now. I am still losing weight (now @ 93 lbs gone), still getting to work overtime, and enjoying my time with the boys. We went and seen Iron Man II this past weekend and it was AWESOME!!!! The trip was as much for me as it was for them. My youngest's ball games are over and my oldest only has about three more games left. There will be little down time because my oldest will start middle school football practice early into summer break. He had a little taste of what it was going to be like a couple of weeks ago. It didn't scare him off so that is a major plus. Like I said things seem to be going better. I have also been able to put a pair of khaki pants on!! SCORE!! That was like my first major goal to wear something besides jogging pants. I mean the mafia garb doesn't look that bad but hey a man has to look good every once and a while!! I hope everyone is doing good and everything is going their way!! Will post longer one later just wanted everyone to know I was alive and well!!

Sweet!

This week has flown by! Work and more work along with sleep and a lit'l house work. Today is apparently laundry day because it looks as if I pulled the last pair of pants out of the chest of drawers. I have to work Saturday and I'm off after that. My oldest has a ball game tonight (Friday) and Saturday. The Ex has another wedding to do so I will have the boys most of the day Saturday. We are going to have a big family dinner Sunday in honor of my lit'l brother being home! Guess I'll have to cook something for that but that is no biggie for Chef Shane!! :-) Thought I would do a thankful list so here goes:

1. Overtime
2. My boys and their ball games.
3. Old friends and new friends
4. Walking my way to good health
5. Nice warm weather
6. Mo Mo is home for a couple of weeks.
7. Fresh sheets
8. Sweet text messages
9. All the atta boys I get!!
10. Laughing

Down 91 lbs this week when I weighed!

Time, Time, Time

I have been getting plenty of time at work as of late and it's keeping my mind occupied. I did keep my boys last week for Spring break and we had a pretty good time. We went and watched Clash of The Titans in 3D and the boys really enjoyed it. I think what they enjoyed more was that their Uncle Mo-Mo was home from Iraq and they got to visit with him for a while. I told the boys that if all things line up in place this summer I will try and take them to see the space shuttle launch on the 29th of July. There are only about 4 left and I would really like for them to see one and I have never seen one in person so that would also be an experience for me. I have been walking a lot lately and getting out and trying to do more. A buddy of mine had a party over the weekend and I went over and cooked for everyone. It's been a while since I cooked for a large crowd and I forgot how much I really liked doing it. The food was good and everything turned out real well. I think I was the only "single" person there but it is something I will have to get used to. It was a fun evening with old friends so I enjoyed myself for a change. The boys games are starting back and they will be playing ball all the way up to school being let out for the summer. The boys both enjoy playing and I love to watch the youngest ones play. There is no ball hit that the whole field does not try and go get it!! On a side note I have lost 81 total lbs. and I am enjoying getting out and doing more. I wish I had done this years ago but it's better late that never. All I have got is TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Easter Sunday

I got off work Saturday morning and drove to Wal-mart to get my shop on for the boys Easter buckets! I don't do baskets for the boys because well they are boys. I got them a butt load of candy, Iron man figures, Diary of A Wimpy Kid book, DVD player, Green Lantern movie, and a Justice League movie. They really flipped when I had it all laid out on the kitchen table that morning. I told them they could only have one piece of candy before breakfast and they didn't mind that at all. We loaded up in the truck to go get a biscuit and they asked if the Easter Bunny was going to go to mom's house too. I said of course. My oldest told me that was the best thing about having divorced parents two of everything. I'm glad he can have a since of humor about all this. The boys spent the night with me for the first time since I moved back into the old home place. I figured I would let the ex have a break and I knew she would be tired from shooting a wedding all day. We all three slept in the same bed and it's a little different sleeping with someone when you haven't slept with anyone in almost a year. My youngest had to sleep with his head on my belly and my oldest had running fits while he slept. WTF??? Since it is just me there I don't have cable or anything. No use having an extra bill if you don't have to. We watched Smallville on DVD and went to sleep around 1am. That way they would sleep late and I would get to sleep late too. I really enjoyed having them around they are fun and aggravating as hell sometimes but they bring life to the house. I even made my ex an Easter Basket!! I know some of you are thinking, "What A Chump"!!!!!!!  Last year on Easter I had to work 12 hours and I came home and she had me a nice Easter bucket and I had her nothing. I felt bad for not having her nothing and told her she made me feel bad. That was not me talking but the tired I am ready to go to damn bed I should have gotten off my lazy ass and made her a basket self. So this year I made up for it. I got her a woven willow basket and put the grass in the bottom and gave her two books (Nora Roberts a fav of hers) a movie (Beaches), and a butt load of chocolate and other candies. A little card said, "I owed you this one", and that was it. No love, no I miss you, no I would walk through HELL with a gasoline g-string for another chance with you. Just Shane. That's all that's left.

New Beginning: Day 71

Play Ball!!!!!!!!!! Baseball season has started and things have started popping around the house. I try and pick up my boys from school on the days they have practice and have them at the ball field with a snack and time to relax before starting. Since I have lost some weight I can get around ALOT better and I have even went with my youngest to the playground and pushed him on the swing for a while. Twice now!! Sad to say but a year ago that would have never happened. I was ashamed to go out in public. After practice the other day this one kid kept poking his dad and telling him look dad he is SOOOOOO FAT!! That's really no biggie you can't be as big as I am for as long as I have been without hearing everything under the sun. There is one kid at my son's school that comes and talks to me every time I come in. He is autistic and they say that I am the only parent that he ever talks to. He will stand beside me and talk to me and make funny faces. I think it is cute and I am flattered that he would show me so much attention. The other day when we left he was calling me GIANT!! Which he doesn't know any better and I like that name. My son said you don't get mad? I told him that at least he says it with a smile son, and he doesn't mean anything by it. A year ago things like that would paralyze me with fear and I wouldn't get out of the truck. In all honesty it wasn't to save me embarrassment but my wife and kids. But I found out that my boys could give to flips what dad looks like as long as he is around. As for my wife I will never know how what I'm doing now could have saved my marriage. I try no to focus on it much but I still go back to that day when the therapist asked my wife if she would give me six months to lose the weight and get to a better place and she it may take a year. My wife told her that, "I know I won't wait a year". Those words still replay in my head everyday. Every time I reach for something or start to stop for that biscuit it replays in my head. The boys and I got out in the yard last weekend and raked up a bunch of leaves to let the grass "breath" so it can grow along with the other plants and vines in the yard. Again that is something that would have never happened a year ago. So for now I am happy. Happy comes and goes but at least my good days out number my bad days now. Hope everyone is well!!!!

New Beginning: Day 58

I have started something on my fridge at home to keep me motivated at the urging of a friend. I have "Why I Do It" written with those old timey magnetic alphabet letters. Along with that I have pictures of the boys up, a phrase I use all the time, and poems that keep me inspired. When I get it done I will take a picture of it and post it. I weighed in Monday and I am glad to announce that I have lost 51 pounds from the last I weighed and 71 from my heaviest. Woo Hoo. I can't keep my joggers up now. Every time I get up to go some where I have to have one hand holding on to my pants so no one sees the moon in the daytime. I thought I would start my Thankful List again so here is my thankful list for this Friday:


 1. Pepto Bismol (eat one wrong thing and you need it)
 2. Buy one get one half off Oil of Olay bodywash.
 3. Huey Lewis and The News
 4. Hulu
 5. Losing weight and being more active.
 6. Taking the boys to Chuck E Cheese.
 7. Friends and Family
 8. OT
 9. My boys
10. Fintune

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!!!!

New Beginning: Day 49

There are several firsts after a divorce or separation. The first birthday, anniversary, holiday, and the first time you see your ex with someone else. I thought this day would be on further down the road but it happened and I didn't explode but it was a lot for me to process. To my ex's credit she did call and tell me that she was bringing someone to my son's practise so I wouldn't be shocked. After practise the guy came up to my truck and introduced himself and told me that he was her friend and that was it. Yeah well I've heard that before about the other feller. I told him that he didn't owe me any explanation and he said he didn't want there to be any animosity,  I'm sorry but that ship has already sailed along time ago. My ex told me they were going from the ball field to her mom's who had cooked for them. Funny she never cooked for me in the twelve years I was married to her daughter. I thought the last little bit was TMI but I think it is part of her shock and awe campaign. My oldest asked me the other day how come I wasn't dating and I told him it wouldn't be fair to the other person because I was still in love with his mom. Baseball season is upon us and Spring is near so I hope that I can keep my mind off things and not dwell on the negative. There is about a thousand things I want to do around the house and the yard needs attention bad. Plus I have yet to visit the building in the back yard so that will be an adventure unto itself. The diet is going good and I am waiting on warm weather to add walking to my daily routine. I am planning on walking in the morning with a co-worker and then in the evening with an old high school friend. I am hoping to get "high school skinny" by the end of summer. ☺ It is going to take a lot of will power and effort but I believe I can do it.

New Begining: Day 36

Welp time is flying by now and I have been divorced for more than a month and the world is still rotating and I am still alive. I didn't die from heartache like I thought I would...came close a couple of times but no cigar. The boys and I have spent the last three days together because they were out of school for two days and then the Ex had court a couple of nights. They behaved pretty good and ate everything that wasn't tied down. I mean I bought a box of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls and they were gone in one day. Really a half a day. At least they were good and sugared up for their Mom. I also got a root canal on Tuesday and that sucked ass big time. I hate a toothache more than any other kind of pain. The whole left side of my face was throbbing like a mother huncher!!!! I called early that day and they worked me in. The first thing this girl done a x-ray and the dentist stop by and said mmmm....yep there it is and gave me a shot. An hour later he came by and started drilling and I was like WTF!!! He said mmmm...that's not numb yet? YA THINK!! Nah I'm just doing the chair dance for the hell of it!!! After about 12 (no lie) more shots it was finally numb enough to drill and fix. I hate going to the dentist but my tooth didn't hurt. UNTIL the novacaine wore off. Then I took two oxycodone to help. Well that was just a little more than I was used to taking and I got pretty hammered. That would have been alright but I was at work. So rapid boys on a Swiss Roll binge and a root canal. Could be worse.

New Begining: Day 29

I was talking to a friend the other night while we were eating and the bill came and I got it. She said no I told you that I was going to get it this time you don't have that much money remember. I told her, "I've had money ever since I knew what money was" darling. She said I've never heard that before. I went on to tell her it was one of the many sayings my dad had. My dad passed away 5/1/2000 and left a huge whole in my family. None of us knew how to deal with his death, especially mom. It wasn't long after dad's death that mom and I got into it and didn't speak for a long time. I loved my dad very much and although I don't think he was ever proud of me I know he loved me. Everyone, including me, called my dad Hog. I could call him daddy all day long and he wouldn't answer. If I ever called him Hog he would look at me and say what you want boy? He was also a deacon of the church and that made for some interesting teen years conversations for me. He was a good man and he was a fair man. I got my work ethic from him and I always thought that I would be married till death do us part like he and mom was. Dad had a lot of sayings and I thought I would share a few of them with y'all!


Dad: Boy you know the only place you'll see one of these? (while making a muscle)
Son: No
Dad: On a box of Arm n Hammer Baking Soda

Son: I'm feeling froggy today old man.
Dad: Well jump up on this and crow for a while boy! (while making the Arm n Hammer muscle)

Son: How does that look daddy?  (while building something)
Dad: Looks good nail'er!

Son: Daddy you got any money?
Dad: Boy I've had money ever since I knew what money was!
or
Dad: Boy I've had money ever since I was nine years old.

Dad: You going to church this weekend?
Son: Nope got to have that money! The Bible says you can work on Sunday as long as your ox is in the ditch.
Dad: Ain't no sign you go out there every Saturday night and throw it in there either.

Dad: I can't get a long with that person for nothing.
Son: The Bible says you have to love everybody daddy.
Dad: True son but it doesn't say anything about liking them.

Son: I'm going to do it. I'm just going to do it.
Dad: Whatever son, make it light on yourself.

Dad: It's better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.

Thus ends my sampling of "Hogisms". Just little nuggets of what I grew up with.

New Begining: Day 20

The birthday was terrific!! My boys and I went out to eat with my sister at Big John's Dawg House and we had a good time. The boys bought me a cool card and they both signed it. My oldest apologized because they didn't have me a gift but he said his mom told him they didn't have any money. I told him that spending time with him was gift enough for me!! My sister got me a Stephen King book, candle, large lighter, pen set, and a swiffer duster!! The candle and lighter was more for me and my friend because she likes the house to smell good and I didn't have a lighter because I don't smoke. When the ex dropped off the boys she dropped off a box of junk she had taken by mistake. In the box was a little box of letters that I had written to girls in high school. Read a few and it brought back a lot of memories. After the she picked the boys up I went and picked up JD who was taking me out to eat for my birthday supper. As an aside my ex never told me happy birthday. No biggie but my oldest caught on to it. She doesn't win many points with him lately. Back on point, my friend and I sit and talked in the truck about her problems for about an hour before going it to wait an hour to eat. Note to self always check in first then do your talking. We had a good meal at Outback and she kept threatening to get them to sing to me. I told her go ahead pay back is hell and her birthday is only like a week away!! After supper we went back to my house for a while and had a piece of the birthday cake she got me and watched Beverly Hill Chihuahua. Since she is such a dog lover she loved the movie. Of course as usual I gave her a foot rub while we watched the movie. I don't know why I do it because about fifteen minutes into the massage she is out like a light but I really like to see her nodding off that means I'm doing a good job. The night got cut short because I had to go into work but I had a very good day and didn't miss my ex that much. She always done birthdays up big. This year it wasn't that bad. Thanks to good friends, and family!!

New Begining: Day 16

Got to looking at my titles and thought that separation no longer fit the bill. I was hoping that I would never see  10 then 20 then 50 and I thought for certain that I would be back home in my warm bed lying next to a beautiful, loving wife by day 100. It didn't work out that way so here I am. Still a little bitter, still break down and cry some days...well most days...but I am getting by. I try to do my best as I always have. An update on the diet front is things are going good. I am sticking to my plan. It is hard as hell especially when you have co-workers bring in pizza, cookies, and cakes to tempt you with. I am on the Medifast plan. It is basically about 1000 calorie diet and you have one "home cooked" meal a day. The rest of the meals are pre portioned oatmeal, soups, shakes, and bars. Every morning I have to fight the small voice inside me begging me to stop and get a gravy biscuit with a side of bacon. Damn just typing that makes my mouth water. The first goal I have is not a set amount of weight. It is to wear pants again. Before all the weight gain I wore khaki pants everyday. I just like khaki. For going on two years now I have had to wear jogging pants. I know so cliche. My first goal is to put on a pair of khaki pants with some nice shoes and go out somewhere I  haven't felt comfortable going in joggers. You can't go to church in jogging pants, it's just not respectful, and I'm not just trying to get out of church. So when the khaki's come on then I have made it to my first goal. Thought since it was Friday I would post ten things that have made me happy thus far:

1. Blogging Awards- Go Shane! It's your birthday.
2. Coincidentally it is my birthday tomorrow!!
3. Spending time with my boys aka the Turd Birds.
4. Spending time with friends.
5. Still getting overtime.
6. Diet is going good with no major slips.
7. Nice quiet house with warm blankets.
8. Little more pep in my step.
9. Green Olives
10. My Lady Gaga cd. (guilty pleasure)

Separation: Day 215

Woo Hoo!! I have been given my second award! Just when I thought no one was reading! Bam! Out of no where two awards!!! This one is from Tony at Nut in a Lifeshell. I have to list ten things that make me happy and then list ten bloggers! So lets see if there are ten things that make me happy:

1. Clear star filled nights. (Used to care less but now it means a lot)
2. A babies laugh or smile or giggle.
3. Cooking for a big crowd of people.
4. Making someone else happy.
5. Hearing my boys tell me that they love their "Sweet Daddy".
6. Working
7. Writing blogs and poetry.
8. Reading all of my blogging buddies posts.
9. Time with my friends.
10. Someone, anyone to tell me that they love me and mean it.

And now for ten Bloggers:

1. Rockstar @ p.s. i [don't] love you
2. Mean Girl @ Mean Girl Garage
3. Tammy @ Tammy's Tale
4. Jessie @ Figuring it out
5. Court @ Tangles Out
6. Frannie @ Frannie Fires Back-Divorce, Finances, And Fabulous Shoes
7. Julie @ He Who Laughs Last Didn't Get It
8. Alyssa @ just putting it out there
9. Miss OverThinker @ Life Uncensored
10. Anna @ Little Reminders of Love

This is the Happy Award! All of the blogs and more (of course) give me happiness everyday!!

Separation: Day 213

Tammy at Tammy's Tale gave me an award!! Part of the award I have to divulge seven things about me!! Seven things about myself that I haven't already told you about. Hmmm...might be hard. So here goes my seven things:

1. I am the oldest child on both sides of the family. Therefore I was spoiled big time!
2. I work at a marble plant in Georgia. We ship to paint, sheet-rock, shingle, plastic, water treatment, chicken feed plants all over the United States. You know the chewing gum you eat? It has marble dust on it. The Tum, Tum, Tums you pop after a big bowl of chili have marble dust in them. Some of the water you drink may be run through some of our marble chips to purify it. The roads you drive on there is marble dust in the paint! So just a short lesson.
3. I have been a senior in college since 1995 and am only seven classes shy of a degree in Social Science.
4. I set out to be a teacher but couldn't afford to take the time off of work to student teach.
5. I have lived in my current house for over two years and have never step foot in the storage building.
6. I once got the breaks suspended for the whole high school for throwing a potato up against the wall. Unfortunately for me it stuck. Once I was "outed" I had to apologize before the whole school.
7. I call my boys Big Turd and Little Turd, aka the Turdies, or Turd Birds.

There it is!! Seven things! Seven things that you didn't know! Now you know. Thanks Tammy for the award and thanks to everyone for reading!!

Separation: Day 209

Last Wednesday was one long mother hunching day!! I was up for about twenty-six hours. The divorce is final. She is no loner married to me and she is free to follow her destiny. I wish her luck! 8/  I can see clearly now the snow is gone!! School was closed for five days!! The snow from my front yard finally melted and I can see my walkway again. My oldest come and spent the day with me and we worked in the basement for a while going through some of the stuff my ex left. She left a lot, a lot, a lot. JD is big time into crafting (or so she says) so she will inherit the bulk of the frilly girly stuff. Speaking of JD we met the other night and had supper at this Italian place it was pretty good and as always we set and talk for hours and then followed each other home. While we were waiting on a table to open up this woman came up to JD and asked her if she was a hairdresser (Loved IT!!) and commented that she liked the boots she was wearing. I just had made the comment that they looked like zebra skinned hooker boots (in all fairness I call all high heeled boots hooker boots). JD was really happy about that and just beamed!! Anyway....then she came back out and stuck her hand out. I took her hand and she started rubbing my hand and told me that she knew how hard it was to lose weight?! What?! Rude much?! She was really sweet though (and drunk as hell) and proceeded to rub my chest and give me testimony of her weight loss trials and then gave me a big long hug. Aweee! I told JD damn I probably could have went home with her!! Wait!! TAXI!!!!!! Back to the basement my oldest and I found all kind of good music for me to listen to. RHCP's, STP, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, Oasis, Beastie Boys, Beetles, Huey Lewis, Bob Segar and the list goes on and on. There was a lot of stuff I forgot I had and a lot of stuff I wish I'd lost. All in all it was a good day and I took my oldest out for Mexican afterwards for helping out. My youngest was at home with his mom because he was sick. When my ex came my youngest came in laid in bed with me for a few minutes and didn't want to leave. That really sucked!! Well all is well with me as far as everything else goes. I have some extra worries because the judge granted the ex's request for more child support than what I said I could afford. She told the judge that my mitigating circumstances was based solely upon emotions and not  financial reality. I would like very much to send a shout out to Rockstar for giving so much advice and showing me love on her blog. Also to Tammy's Tale for giving me an award!!! Woo Hoo!!! I would like to thank the academy....More on it tomorrow. Thanks Tammy and Rockstar.

Separation: Day 202

The great Blizzard of 2010 is still ravaging Pickens County. The whopping 2 inches of snow we got shut down the school system for two and a half days and caused multiple accidents. Emergency crews were begging people to stay home unless it was life or death. The only things you seen on the road were four wheelers and other off road vehicles and they were going for milk, bread, eggs and beer. Hand to GOD I seen two people in full camo outside a liquor store on their Kawasaki Mule. I had to call in the first day because I couldn't get out of my sub-division and the second day I left eight hours early to go 9.5 miles. When I got home I pulled down next to the basement and....wait for it...wait for it...got stuck in my driveway!! So there I was stuck at home with nothing to eat but grits and Mike's Hard Lemonade. My wife came over and parked next to the road and cleaned out "her part" of the basement. So I reckon she is officially gone. Just before we are officially divorced. The house is shaping up a little bit now. I think my friend said she was going to come over tonight and "drink, watch a movie, and or decorate". I told her we could do all three. My youngest lost his first tooth over the weekend and he was so excited. My wife sent me a picture of him smiling. I broke down Sunday and sent my wife a message and thanked her for the best twelve years of my life, that my biggest regret was losing her, and that I would always love, want and need her. I also told her that as much as we were running in opposite directions from each other now that I hoped someday things would be better. Her response was I am coming to get the rest of my stuff today. I am really excited about seeing my friend, haven't seen her since the 27th of December. So heres hoping!!

Separation: Day 196

Damn it boy!!!! It is colder than a well diggers ass down here. Eighteen frick fracking degrees and the cold air that is coming under my office door is freezing my footsies off!! I know, I know, cry me a river, but I hate cold weather. They say fat people don't get cold. They LIED!! Plus I hate to wear coats. My mom had to force me to wear one when I was little and when I got old enough to make that decision for myself I never wear one. My excuse was that I would walk from a warm truck to a warm building I didn't need a coat. I'm about to rethink my coat wearing ways. The house is empty. The ex has about a half a load left of stuff (upstairs) and some cleaning to do before she gives me the green light. I was over there last night and she came to get another load so I left and went back to my sister's place. There was something about her carrying her stuff out while I was there that was messing me up. I went over there the other night and set and cried for about an hour just looking at the empty house and remembering the past. My friend called right in the middle of it and I couldn't speak so she told me to call her back when I could talk. The boys tickle me they are excited but they hide it well because they don't want me to think that they enjoy the new place. My oldest told me tonight my brothers room is s-m-a-l-l and my youngest looked at him and said yeah bubba that mean little. I about fell out of the big blue chair. We lived at the place for two years and never painted the first wall. The whole place was one boring color. So now that the place is empty I am going to get it painted. My friend has promised that she can work miracles that all I have to do is set a budget. There is so much that I have to buy first though. My ex got the washer, microwave, the FLAT SCREEN (just kill me now), and her dresser. I told her she could have her nightstand table but she said it was in the agreement that it was mine. She also got everything out of the boys rooms so if they come over anytime soon it's either a pallet on the floor or sleep with daddy. I don't know where to go from here now. I mean I was used to seeing her pretty much everyday but now I really don't have to see her again. I mean I can drop the boys off and not see her, she can pick them up and not see me. January 13th will be the end of it all, our marriage anyway. We will forever be in each others lives like it or not.

Separation: Day 193

It's been a while! My Christmas was all about the boys this year! I went shopping the Wednesday before Christmas and scored big time at Toys R Us. The boys were real impressed. My oldest told me that my gifts were the best but not to tell his mom he said that. I got my youngest some lego sets, action figures, and two Justice League movies. My oldest got Madden 10, Star Wars Unleashed for the Wii, and Family Guy Star Wars movie. I got them both a minature WWE wrestling ring with twelve mini-figures, and the coupe de grace a Punjabi Prison Match wrestling ring!! Daddy was king for the day!!! They were even more impressed when they found out I done all the shopping. I usually got my sissy to do it, but this year I wanted to show that I am the man!! Anyway....we went to eat at Cracker Barrel for my side of the families get together. We had a good time everyone got good gifts and I got to hold the new nephew for a while. When we were leaving I let the boys pick out gifts for their mom from the gift shop, and I found my friend a couple of things!! My sister surprised me Christmas with a stocking filled with M&M stuff, a Jason Aldean cd and a Dean Koontz book. Score!! The only thing I thought we weren't getting each other anything so hers had to wait.My friend and I got together the Saturday after Christmas and was supposed to exchange gifts but by the time we got home about 1:30am we were too pooped to exchange and promised to do it Sunday. So Sunday we met and ate at the Canton House and had sizzling rice soup (her), hot and sour soup (me), fried won tons, crab rangoons (her), General Tso's Chicken (me). It is awesome food! Then we went to the Dairy Queen and got her a banana split? WTH? Then up to the lookout to stargaze for a while. She got me a bunch of M&M stuff, a Lady Gaga cd, a book, bath brush, Yankee Candle air freshener for my truck, a Jeff Dunham dvd, and two crazy/sweet cards. I got her a snowman stocking filled with chocolate covered almonds, two bags of cheeze its, airheads, Golden Girls Season 1, Moonlighting Season 1&2, a Friendship Angel and a tiny Disney Fairy Princess flashlight for her key chain. She loved it and couldn't believe I done as good as I did. I had the week after Christmas off and didn't do anything but eat some Wendy's and watch Burn Notice on New Year's Eve. :( I did talk to my friend daily and kept her apprised of my goings on. My soon to be ex has started moving out and the house is empting out by the day. The boys are excited and my youngest calls their new place a hotel. As an aside on the weight front. When I hit the scales tonight it looks like I have lost about 38 lbs since I started. :)