Friday, January 29, 2010

New Begining: Day 16

Got to looking at my titles and thought that separation no longer fit the bill. I was hoping that I would never see  10 then 20 then 50 and I thought for certain that I would be back home in my warm bed lying next to a beautiful, loving wife by day 100. It didn't work out that way so here I am. Still a little bitter, still break down and cry some days...well most days...but I am getting by. I try to do my best as I always have. An update on the diet front is things are going good. I am sticking to my plan. It is hard as hell especially when you have co-workers bring in pizza, cookies, and cakes to tempt you with. I am on the Medifast plan. It is basically about 1000 calorie diet and you have one "home cooked" meal a day. The rest of the meals are pre portioned oatmeal, soups, shakes, and bars. Every morning I have to fight the small voice inside me begging me to stop and get a gravy biscuit with a side of bacon. Damn just typing that makes my mouth water. The first goal I have is not a set amount of weight. It is to wear pants again. Before all the weight gain I wore khaki pants everyday. I just like khaki. For going on two years now I have had to wear jogging pants. I know so cliche. My first goal is to put on a pair of khaki pants with some nice shoes and go out somewhere I  haven't felt comfortable going in joggers. You can't go to church in jogging pants, it's just not respectful, and I'm not just trying to get out of church. So when the khaki's come on then I have made it to my first goal. Thought since it was Friday I would post ten things that have made me happy thus far:

  1. Blogging Awards- Go Shane! It's your birthday.
  2. Coincidentally it is my birthday tomorrow!!
  3. Spending time with my boys aka the Turd Birds.
  4. Spending time with friends.
  5. Still getting overtime.
  6. Diet is going good with no major slips.
  7. Nice quiet house with warm blankets.
  8. Little more pep in my step.
  9. Green Olives
  10. My Lady Gaga cd. (guilty pleasure)

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Separation: Day 215

Woo Hoo!! I have been given my second award! Just when I thought no one was reading! Bam! Out of no where two awards!!! This one is from Tony at Nut in a Lifeshell. I have to list ten things that make me happy and then list ten bloggers! So lets see if there are ten things that make me happy:

  1. Clear star filled nights. (Used to care less but now it means a lot)
  2. A babies laugh or smile or giggle.
  3. Cooking for a big crowd of people.
  4. Making someone else happy.
  5. Hearing my boys tell me that they love their "Sweet Daddy".
  6. Working
  7. Writing blogs and poetry.
  8. Reading all of my blogging buddies posts.
  9. Time with my friends.
  10. Someone, anyone to tell me that they love me and mean it.
And now for ten Bloggers:

  1. Rockstar @ p.s. i [don't] love you
  2. Mean Girl @ Mean Girl Garage
  3. Tammy @ Tammy's Tale
  4. Jessie @ Figuring it out
  5. Court @ Tangles Out
  6. Frannie @ Frannie Fires Back-Divorce, Finances, And Fabulous Shoes
  7. Julie @ He Who Laughs Last Didn't Get It
  8. Alyssa @ just putting it out there
  9. Miss OverThinker @ Life Uncensored
  10. Anna @ Little Reminders of Love
This is the Happy Award! All of the blogs and more (of course) give me happiness everyday!!

Friday, January 22, 2010

Separation: Day 213

Tammy at Tammy's Tale gave me an award!! Part of the award I have to divulge seven things about me!! Seven things about myself that I haven't already told you about. Hmmm...might be hard. So here goes my seven things:

  1. I am the oldest child on both sides of the family. Therefore I was spoiled big time!
  2. I work at a marble plant in Georgia. We ship to paint, sheet-rock, shingle, plastic, water treatment, chicken feed plants all over the United States. You know the chewing gum you eat? It has marble dust on it. The Tum, Tum, Tums you pop after a big bowl of chili have marble dust in them. Some of the water you drink may be run through some of our marble chips to purify it. The roads you drive on there is marble dust in the paint! So just a short lesson.
  3. I have been a senior in college since 1995 and am only seven classes shy of a degree in Social Science.
  4. I set out to be a teacher but couldn't afford to take the time off of work to student teach.
  5. I have lived in my current house for over two years and have never step foot in the storage building.
  6. I once got the breaks suspended for the whole high school for throwing a potato up against the wall. Unfortunately for me it stuck. Once I was "outed" I had to apologize before the whole school.
  7. I call my boys Big Turd and Little Turd, aka the Turdies, or Turd Birds.
There it is!! Seven things! Seven things that you didn't know! Now you know. Thanks Tammy for the award and thanks to everyone for reading!!

Monday, January 18, 2010

Separation: Day 209

Last Wednesday was one long mother hunching day!! I was up for about twenty-six hours. The divorce is final. She is no loner married to me and she is free to follow her destiny. I wish her luck! 8/  I can see clearly now the snow is gone!! School was closed for five days!! The snow from my front yard finally melted and I can see my walkway again. My oldest come and spent the day with me and we worked in the basement for a while going through some of the stuff my ex left. She left a lot, a lot, a lot. JD is big time into crafting (or so she says) so she will inherit the bulk of the frilly girly stuff. Speaking of JD we met the other night and had supper at this Italian place it was pretty good and as always we set and talk for hours and then followed each other home. While we were waiting on a table to open up this woman came up to JD and asked her if she was a hairdresser (Loved IT!!) and commented that she liked the boots she was wearing. I just had made the comment that they looked like zebra skinned hooker boots (in all fairness I call all high heeled boots hooker boots). JD was really happy about that and just beamed!! Anyway....then she came back out and stuck her hand out. I took her hand and she started rubbing my hand and told me that she knew how hard it was to lose weight?! What?! Rude much?! She was really sweet though (and drunk as hell) and proceeded to rub my chest and give me testimony of her weight loss trials and then gave me a big long hug. Aweee! I told JD damn I probably could have went home with her!! Wait!! TAXI!!!!!! Back to the basement my oldest and I found all kind of good music for me to listen to. RHCP's, STP, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, Oasis, Beastie Boys, Beetles, Huey Lewis, Bob Segar and the list goes on and on. There was a lot of stuff I forgot I had and a lot of stuff I wish I'd lost. All in all it was a good day and I took my oldest out for Mexican afterwards for helping out. My youngest was at home with his mom because he was sick. When my ex came my youngest came in laid in bed with me for a few minutes and didn't want to leave. That really sucked!! Well all is well with me as far as everything else goes. I have some extra worries because the judge granted the ex's request for more child support than what I said I could afford. She told the judge that my mitigating circumstances was based solely upon emotions and not  financial reality. I would like very much to send a shout out to Rockstar for giving so much advice and showing me love on her blog. Also to Tammy's Tale for giving me an award!!! Woo Hoo!!! I would like to thank the academy....More on it tomorrow. Thanks Tammy and Rockstar.

Monday, January 11, 2010

Separation: Day 202

The great Blizzard of 2010 is still ravaging Pickens County. The whopping 2 inches of snow we got shut down the school system for two and a half days and caused multiple accidents. Emergency crews were begging people to stay home unless it was life or death. The only things you seen on the road were four wheelers and other off road vehicles and they were going for milk, bread, eggs and beer. Hand to GOD I seen two people in full camo outside a liquor store on their Kawasaki Mule. I had to call in the first day because I couldn't get out of my sub-division and the second day I left eight hours early to go 9.5 miles. When I got home I pulled down next to the basement and....wait for it...wait for stuck in my driveway!! So there I was stuck at home with nothing to eat but grits and Mike's Hard Lemonade. My wife came over and parked next to the road and cleaned out "her part" of the basement. So I reckon she is officially gone. Just before we are officially divorced. The house is shaping up a little bit now. I think my friend said she was going to come over tonight and "drink, watch a movie, and or decorate". I told her we could do all three. My youngest lost his first tooth over the weekend and he was so excited. My wife sent me a picture of him smiling. I broke down Sunday and sent my wife a message and thanked her for the best twelve years of my life, that my biggest regret was losing her, and that I would always love, want and need her. I also told her that as much as we were running in opposite directions from each other now that I hoped someday things would be better. Her response was I am coming to get the rest of my stuff today. I am really excited about seeing my friend, haven't seen her since the 27th of December. So heres hoping!!

Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Separation: Day 196

Damn it boy!!!! It is colder than a well diggers ass down here. Eighteen frick fracking degrees and the cold air that is coming under my office door is freezing my footsies off!! I know, I know, cry me a river, but I hate cold weather. They say fat people don't get cold. They LIED!! Plus I hate to wear coats. My mom had to force me to wear one when I was little and when I got old enough to make that decision for myself I never wear one. My excuse was that I would walk from a warm truck to a warm building I didn't need a coat. I'm about to rethink my coat wearing ways. The house is empty. The ex has about a half a load left of stuff (upstairs) and some cleaning to do before she gives me the green light. I was over there last night and she came to get another load so I left and went back to my sister's place. There was something about her carrying her stuff out while I was there that was messing me up. I went over there the other night and set and cried for about an hour just looking at the empty house and remembering the past. My friend called right in the middle of it and I couldn't speak so she told me to call her back when I could talk. The boys tickle me they are excited but they hide it well because they don't want me to think that they enjoy the new place. My oldest told me tonight my brothers room is s-m-a-l-l and my youngest looked at him and said yeah bubba that mean little. I about fell out of the big blue chair. We lived at the place for two years and never painted the first wall. The whole place was one boring color. So now that the place is empty I am going to get it painted. My friend has promised that she can work miracles that all I have to do is set a budget. There is so much that I have to buy first though. My ex got the washer, microwave, the FLAT SCREEN (just kill me now), and her dresser. I told her she could have her nightstand table but she said it was in the agreement that it was mine. She also got everything out of the boys rooms so if they come over anytime soon it's either a pallet on the floor or sleep with daddy. I don't know where to go from here now. I mean I was used to seeing her pretty much everyday but now I really don't have to see her again. I mean I can drop the boys off and not see her, she can pick them up and not see me. January 13th will be the end of it all, our marriage anyway. We will forever be in each others lives like it or not.

Saturday, January 2, 2010

Separation: Day 193

It's been a while! My Christmas was all about the boys this year! I went shopping the Wednesday before Christmas and scored big time at Toys R Us. The boys were real impressed. My oldest told me that my gifts were the best but not to tell his mom he said that. I got my youngest some lego sets, action figures, and two Justice League movies. My oldest got Madden 10, Star Wars Unleashed for the Wii, and Family Guy Star Wars movie. I got them both a minature WWE wrestling ring with twelve mini-figures, and the coupe de grace a Punjabi Prison Match wrestling ring!! Daddy was king for the day!!! They were even more impressed when they found out I done all the shopping. I usually got my sissy to do it, but this year I wanted to show that I am the man!! Anyway....we went to eat at Cracker Barrel for my side of the families get together. We had a good time everyone got good gifts and I got to hold the new nephew for a while. When we were leaving I let the boys pick out gifts for their mom from the gift shop, and I found my friend a couple of things!! My sister surprised me Christmas with a stocking filled with M&M stuff, a Jason Aldean cd and a Dean Koontz book. Score!! The only thing I thought we weren't getting each other anything so hers had to wait.My friend and I got together the Saturday after Christmas and was supposed to exchange gifts but by the time we got home about 1:30am we were too pooped to exchange and promised to do it Sunday. So Sunday we met and ate at the Canton House and had sizzling rice soup (her), hot and sour soup (me), fried won tons, crab rangoons (her), General Tso's Chicken (me). It is awesome food! Then we went to the Dairy Queen and got her a banana split? WTH? Then up to the lookout to stargaze for a while. She got me a bunch of M&M stuff, a Lady Gaga cd, a book, bath brush, Yankee Candle air freshener for my truck, a Jeff Dunham dvd, and two crazy/sweet cards. I got her a snowman stocking filled with chocolate covered almonds, two bags of cheeze its, airheads, Golden Girls Season 1, Moonlighting Season 1&2, a Friendship Angel and a tiny Disney Fairy Princess flashlight for her key chain. She loved it and couldn't believe I done as good as I did. I had the week after Christmas off and didn't do anything but eat some Wendy's and watch Burn Notice on New Year's Eve. :( I did talk to my friend daily and kept her apprised of my goings on. My soon to be ex has started moving out and the house is empting out by the day. The boys are excited and my youngest calls their new place a hotel. As an aside on the weight front. When I hit the scales tonight it looks like I have lost about 38 lbs since I started. :)