New Beginning: Day 71

Play Ball!!!!!!!!!! Baseball season has started and things have started popping around the house. I try and pick up my boys from school on the days they have practice and have them at the ball field with a snack and time to relax before starting. Since I have lost some weight I can get around ALOT better and I have even went with my youngest to the playground and pushed him on the swing for a while. Twice now!! Sad to say but a year ago that would have never happened. I was ashamed to go out in public. After practice the other day this one kid kept poking his dad and telling him look dad he is SOOOOOO FAT!! That's really no biggie you can't be as big as I am for as long as I have been without hearing everything under the sun. There is one kid at my son's school that comes and talks to me every time I come in. He is autistic and they say that I am the only parent that he ever talks to. He will stand beside me and talk to me and make funny faces. I think it is cute and I am flattered that he would show me so much attention. The other day when we left he was calling me GIANT!! Which he doesn't know any better and I like that name. My son said you don't get mad? I told him that at least he says it with a smile son, and he doesn't mean anything by it. A year ago things like that would paralyze me with fear and I wouldn't get out of the truck. In all honesty it wasn't to save me embarrassment but my wife and kids. But I found out that my boys could give to flips what dad looks like as long as he is around. As for my wife I will never know how what I'm doing now could have saved my marriage. I try no to focus on it much but I still go back to that day when the therapist asked my wife if she would give me six months to lose the weight and get to a better place and she it may take a year. My wife told her that, "I know I won't wait a year". Those words still replay in my head everyday. Every time I reach for something or start to stop for that biscuit it replays in my head. The boys and I got out in the yard last weekend and raked up a bunch of leaves to let the grass "breath" so it can grow along with the other plants and vines in the yard. Again that is something that would have never happened a year ago. So for now I am happy. Happy comes and goes but at least my good days out number my bad days now. Hope everyone is well!!!!