Sunday, August 2, 2009
Separation: Day 41
It has been forty-one days since I have been exiled from my house. What started out as an inquiry into my wife's e-mail to another man telling him how much he meant to her quickly evolved into a marriage that was filled with disappointments and emotional abandonment. I still haven't figured out how that happened. I came upon these e-mails and asked my wife about them and she came back with, "we are having problems, you are having problems" and we need to get help and you need to get some extra help. I am still reeling on that one. How is it that I find this and all of a sudden I am the one that needs help. How is it that after forty-one days I still have not got an explanation to why she erased every text message she sent him and every text message he sent her. I believe that I am entitled to an explanation. Not just a quick pro quo but a long discussion about what took that many texts to talk about, and why was I as her husband not even aware this guy existed. I have suffered along now for forty-one days thinking it was all my fault that me working all the time and losing both my parents left me emotionally unavailable to her. But my phone never rang, she never woke me up in the middle of the night and said I need to talk. I was there and more than willing to talk to her. How is it that I "the great provider" ends up with egg on my face? How is it that I who has given up everything but work to make sure that my family has everything that I didn't ends up with nothing?