Friday, August 28, 2009

Separation: Day 66

I went to the bathroom tonight and had myself a good cry. I know that a man probably shouldn't admit to that but it's out there now. I didn't have therapy today so I missed my weekly soul cleansing. Yesterday I went and picked up my boys from school and took them to my wife's house while I took a shower. My oldest done his homework so he wouldn't have to rush back and do it and my youngest ate Cheeze Its (that's the way they spell it) and watched cartoons until I got ready to go. When I started out the door my wife showed up and my youngest decided that if I wasn't going to Taco Bell he wasn't going. Well....he had to stay with his mom. My oldest and I went and had hot wings and chili cheese fries. Oh yeah, it was as good as it sounds. When I walked in the lady said it's good to see you back is your wife not with you. For a minute I thought (wtf!) then I remembered that my sister was with me the last time. I gently corrected her as my son looked like I should be telling him something. When I got out to the truck I had discovered that I had gotten a bargain. I got the whole meal for around ten bucks. I went back in and told the girl that I owed her some more money and she looked at me like you have got to be kidding. Ended up I owed another seventeen to go with the ten. She said thanks you saved me from getting into big trouble. So my conscious cost me seventeen bucks!! I knew better than to tempt fate, if I had walked out and left it like that I would have lost that money somewhere along the way. Happens every time. What comes around goes around. I am a big believer in that. Anyway, I took my boy back home and dropped him off and took a nap before going into work. What was the reason for the crying spell? It just came over me in the bathroom. Just a wave of emotion. Dread, pain, loneliness, scorn, all the usual suspects. But amazingly I felt a little better when I got done. So now as I promised I would I am going to write my thankful list:

  1. Micah was born on 8/27/09, he weighed 6lbs and was 21 inches long. I am his Uncle.
  2. I get to work this weekend.
  3. I made it through the first cut of layoffs at work this week.
  4. My wife made it to and from NY safely.
  5. Both my boys are doing good in school and are healthy.
  6. I have enough money in the bank to make my house payment.
  7. I have two boys that love me even if I'm not going to Taco Bell. :)
  8. I am alive and well.
  9. I have good blogger friends who inspire me and check up on me daily.

That would be about it. I hope everyone has a good weekend!!!!!


  1. Hi Shane!

    Thanks for the nice comment on my blog & for following... ;)

    I'm sorry to hear of your separation - I understand the difficulty. It's GREAT you have such a good relationship with your children - always remember they are the #1 priority & hopefully you & your wife can remain optimistic for THEM as you go through such a challenge!

    I wanted to encourage you to read one of my May posts, Inner Peace, which features an article that really opened my eyes as I dealt with divorce & other problems...I recommend it to EVERYONE! Here's the link:

    P.S. CONGRATS on the new nephew!

    God Bless & Happy Blogging...

  2. Whaddaya mean a man shouldn't admit to crying? C'mon now... we're all members of the same big ol' group of folks and a good, cathartic cry can very, very helpful. I know I've had my fair share. I remember in my lowest the crying would start without a warning. One minute I was okay and the next I was sobbing uncontrollably. Alas, it's a side effect of the situation and we might as well go along with the flow.

    Your kids are such a wonderful inspiration for you. I think it's pretty amazing how much they're helping you through these tough times. Even if you don't go to Taco Hell... ahem... Bell :-p