Separation: Day 30

Yesterday was thirty days since my wife told me to leave. In those thirty days I have learned a few things about myself:

1. I still can't put my own socks on
2. I miss my wife very much and love her even more
3. I didn't know that my boys loved me as much as they do and miss me
4. My sister is a lot like my mom
5. I can get around better than I thought I could
6. Doing your own laundry sux
7. My wife done a lot of little things for that I took for granite
8. My wife done a lot that was under appreciated
9. Trying to lose weight is a minute by minute struggle
10. Therapy can be addictive

My oldest boy asked me the other day if I went to therapy and "poured out " my feelings and I said yes because that is what your mom asked me to do and I wanted to do it. He then turned around and asked me if I was a man. The therapist felt alarmed by this today and told me that I needed to tell my oldest that it was alright to express feelings and to vent. My oldest as of late has took every opportunity he can to give me hell about this situation. I know he loves me and worries about me but I worry about how this is effecting him. It was another therapy day and we talked the whole time about my problems now. My wife originally wanted me to get help about grieving for my parents death and weight issues with a side of depression. But since all this has went on the marriage problems have taken up the bulk of the conversation. We have talked about getting my weight issues under control and making sure that I stay healthy mentally and physically for my boys and my wife if she takes me back. It all has to boil down to me taking charge of my life and doing better for myself so I can have a better quality of life and hopefully maybe everything else will fall in place. Let's hope in the next thirty days I am back at home making an honest effort with my wife to reclaim our marriage and make it stronger than ever. I don't know what the future holds, but a feller can hope.