A Month: WTH!!!

Where has all the time gone? No one can tell me. Things are going pretty good, and they have been for a while now. I am still losing weight (now @ 93 lbs gone), still getting to work overtime, and enjoying my time with the boys. We went and seen Iron Man II this past weekend and it was AWESOME!!!! The trip was as much for me as it was for them. My youngest's ball games are over and my oldest only has about three more games left. There will be little down time because my oldest will start middle school football practice early into summer break. He had a little taste of what it was going to be like a couple of weeks ago. It didn't scare him off so that is a major plus. Like I said things seem to be going better. I have also been able to put a pair of khaki pants on!! SCORE!! That was like my first major goal to wear something besides jogging pants. I mean the mafia garb doesn't look that bad but hey a man has to look good every once and a while!! I hope everyone is doing good and everything is going their way!! Will post longer one later just wanted everyone to know I was alive and well!!

Sweet!

This week has flown by! Work and more work along with sleep and a lit'l house work. Today is apparently laundry day because it looks as if I pulled the last pair of pants out of the chest of drawers. I have to work Saturday and I'm off after that. My oldest has a ball game tonight (Friday) and Saturday. The Ex has another wedding to do so I will have the boys most of the day Saturday. We are going to have a big family dinner Sunday in honor of my lit'l brother being home! Guess I'll have to cook something for that but that is no biggie for Chef Shane!! :-) Thought I would do a thankful list so here goes:

1. Overtime
2. My boys and their ball games.
3. Old friends and new friends
4. Walking my way to good health
5. Nice warm weather
6. Mo Mo is home for a couple of weeks.
7. Fresh sheets
8. Sweet text messages
9. All the atta boys I get!!
10. Laughing

Down 91 lbs this week when I weighed!

Time, Time, Time

I have been getting plenty of time at work as of late and it's keeping my mind occupied. I did keep my boys last week for Spring break and we had a pretty good time. We went and watched Clash of The Titans in 3D and the boys really enjoyed it. I think what they enjoyed more was that their Uncle Mo-Mo was home from Iraq and they got to visit with him for a while. I told the boys that if all things line up in place this summer I will try and take them to see the space shuttle launch on the 29th of July. There are only about 4 left and I would really like for them to see one and I have never seen one in person so that would also be an experience for me. I have been walking a lot lately and getting out and trying to do more. A buddy of mine had a party over the weekend and I went over and cooked for everyone. It's been a while since I cooked for a large crowd and I forgot how much I really liked doing it. The food was good and everything turned out real well. I think I was the only "single" person there but it is something I will have to get used to. It was a fun evening with old friends so I enjoyed myself for a change. The boys games are starting back and they will be playing ball all the way up to school being let out for the summer. The boys both enjoy playing and I love to watch the youngest ones play. There is no ball hit that the whole field does not try and go get it!! On a side note I have lost 81 total lbs. and I am enjoying getting out and doing more. I wish I had done this years ago but it's better late that never. All I have got is TIME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Easter Sunday

I got off work Saturday morning and drove to Wal-mart to get my shop on for the boys Easter buckets! I don't do baskets for the boys because well they are boys. I got them a butt load of candy, Iron man figures, Diary of A Wimpy Kid book, DVD player, Green Lantern movie, and a Justice League movie. They really flipped when I had it all laid out on the kitchen table that morning. I told them they could only have one piece of candy before breakfast and they didn't mind that at all. We loaded up in the truck to go get a biscuit and they asked if the Easter Bunny was going to go to mom's house too. I said of course. My oldest told me that was the best thing about having divorced parents two of everything. I'm glad he can have a since of humor about all this. The boys spent the night with me for the first time since I moved back into the old home place. I figured I would let the ex have a break and I knew she would be tired from shooting a wedding all day. We all three slept in the same bed and it's a little different sleeping with someone when you haven't slept with anyone in almost a year. My youngest had to sleep with his head on my belly and my oldest had running fits while he slept. WTF??? Since it is just me there I don't have cable or anything. No use having an extra bill if you don't have to. We watched Smallville on DVD and went to sleep around 1am. That way they would sleep late and I would get to sleep late too. I really enjoyed having them around they are fun and aggravating as hell sometimes but they bring life to the house. I even made my ex an Easter Basket!! I know some of you are thinking, "What A Chump"!!!!!!!  Last year on Easter I had to work 12 hours and I came home and she had me a nice Easter bucket and I had her nothing. I felt bad for not having her nothing and told her she made me feel bad. That was not me talking but the tired I am ready to go to damn bed I should have gotten off my lazy ass and made her a basket self. So this year I made up for it. I got her a woven willow basket and put the grass in the bottom and gave her two books (Nora Roberts a fav of hers) a movie (Beaches), and a butt load of chocolate and other candies. A little card said, "I owed you this one", and that was it. No love, no I miss you, no I would walk through HELL with a gasoline g-string for another chance with you. Just Shane. That's all that's left.

New Beginning: Day 71

Play Ball!!!!!!!!!! Baseball season has started and things have started popping around the house. I try and pick up my boys from school on the days they have practice and have them at the ball field with a snack and time to relax before starting. Since I have lost some weight I can get around ALOT better and I have even went with my youngest to the playground and pushed him on the swing for a while. Twice now!! Sad to say but a year ago that would have never happened. I was ashamed to go out in public. After practice the other day this one kid kept poking his dad and telling him look dad he is SOOOOOO FAT!! That's really no biggie you can't be as big as I am for as long as I have been without hearing everything under the sun. There is one kid at my son's school that comes and talks to me every time I come in. He is autistic and they say that I am the only parent that he ever talks to. He will stand beside me and talk to me and make funny faces. I think it is cute and I am flattered that he would show me so much attention. The other day when we left he was calling me GIANT!! Which he doesn't know any better and I like that name. My son said you don't get mad? I told him that at least he says it with a smile son, and he doesn't mean anything by it. A year ago things like that would paralyze me with fear and I wouldn't get out of the truck. In all honesty it wasn't to save me embarrassment but my wife and kids. But I found out that my boys could give to flips what dad looks like as long as he is around. As for my wife I will never know how what I'm doing now could have saved my marriage. I try no to focus on it much but I still go back to that day when the therapist asked my wife if she would give me six months to lose the weight and get to a better place and she it may take a year. My wife told her that, "I know I won't wait a year". Those words still replay in my head everyday. Every time I reach for something or start to stop for that biscuit it replays in my head. The boys and I got out in the yard last weekend and raked up a bunch of leaves to let the grass "breath" so it can grow along with the other plants and vines in the yard. Again that is something that would have never happened a year ago. So for now I am happy. Happy comes and goes but at least my good days out number my bad days now. Hope everyone is well!!!!

New Beginning: Day 58

I have started something on my fridge at home to keep me motivated at the urging of a friend. I have "Why I Do It" written with those old timey magnetic alphabet letters. Along with that I have pictures of the boys up, a phrase I use all the time, and poems that keep me inspired. When I get it done I will take a picture of it and post it. I weighed in Monday and I am glad to announce that I have lost 51 pounds from the last I weighed and 71 from my heaviest. Woo Hoo. I can't keep my joggers up now. Every time I get up to go some where I have to have one hand holding on to my pants so no one sees the moon in the daytime. I thought I would start my Thankful List again so here is my thankful list for this Friday:


 1. Pepto Bismol (eat one wrong thing and you need it)
 2. Buy one get one half off Oil of Olay bodywash.
 3. Huey Lewis and The News
 4. Hulu
 5. Losing weight and being more active.
 6. Taking the boys to Chuck E Cheese.
 7. Friends and Family
 8. OT
 9. My boys
10. Fintune

I hope everyone has an awesome weekend!!!!!

New Beginning: Day 49

There are several firsts after a divorce or separation. The first birthday, anniversary, holiday, and the first time you see your ex with someone else. I thought this day would be on further down the road but it happened and I didn't explode but it was a lot for me to process. To my ex's credit she did call and tell me that she was bringing someone to my son's practise so I wouldn't be shocked. After practise the guy came up to my truck and introduced himself and told me that he was her friend and that was it. Yeah well I've heard that before about the other feller. I told him that he didn't owe me any explanation and he said he didn't want there to be any animosity,  I'm sorry but that ship has already sailed along time ago. My ex told me they were going from the ball field to her mom's who had cooked for them. Funny she never cooked for me in the twelve years I was married to her daughter. I thought the last little bit was TMI but I think it is part of her shock and awe campaign. My oldest asked me the other day how come I wasn't dating and I told him it wouldn't be fair to the other person because I was still in love with his mom. Baseball season is upon us and Spring is near so I hope that I can keep my mind off things and not dwell on the negative. There is about a thousand things I want to do around the house and the yard needs attention bad. Plus I have yet to visit the building in the back yard so that will be an adventure unto itself. The diet is going good and I am waiting on warm weather to add walking to my daily routine. I am planning on walking in the morning with a co-worker and then in the evening with an old high school friend. I am hoping to get "high school skinny" by the end of summer. ☺ It is going to take a lot of will power and effort but I believe I can do it.