Tuesday, December 8, 2009
Separation: Day 168
Welp it won't be long now. This time of year is turning out harder than I thought it would be. My wife was putting out all the decorations the other day when I went to take a shower. Every year we were together she bought us an ornament for the tree. I remember them all and looked forward to seeing what she got us each year. Sadly they didn't make the tree this year. When the boys came along she got them each one for every year. We had a pretty big tree and she loved to do all the decorations. She was a Jehovah Witness when she was little and she didn't get to celebrate Christmas for a long time. The first year we were married we had a tree in the dining room and I bought her a bicycle. Those were the days. I loved to buy her lots of things. Things she needed and things she didn't know she needed. :) Just like when I was growing up our stockings were the best thing to get. We always put a prize in them and filled them with our favorite candy. Everything she learned about holiday traditions she learned from my family. We had a tradition in my family that the first person to yell "Christmas Eve Gift" got to open a present on Christmas eve. The running joke Dad always said if you open one you won't have one to open on Christmas morning. I made homemade hot chocolate and she would make monkey bread. After the kids were born we wouldn't get in bed till late in the morning. One year we bought my youngest a train table and we had to set up the table and the train. Santa was one tired mo-frigger the next morning. Then I would write each of the boys a letter and tell them how good a boy they had been and to help their mother more and clean their rooms!!! None of that will happen this year. I don't have the Christmas spirit. My wife robbed me of that when she fell for another man and then blamed me for the failure of our marriage. My oldest told me the other day that he bet that my wife could make me happy for Christmas and I told him I thought it was passed that for us. I hate having those feelings and I really would try again but it would be a long hard road. ANYWAY I am thankful for the boys and glad that they bring me much joy and consternation.