Separation: Day 178

It's Friday again. Damn didn't I just post this about two days ago?? Got to see JD tonight!! Woo Hoo!! First time I have seen her since the first of the month. We talk and text everyday but there is only so much you can talk and text about. We had good conversation over Mexican food and a couple of drinks. Hers was the alcohol kind and mine was sweet tea. I have just a few more days to enjoy the sweet tea because next week I start a medically supervised weight loss program. One of the things that the Ex was adamant about was that I had to lose weight. Both the marriage councilor and the personal councilor told me that a lot of my issues were due to my weight. I'm not going to go into numbers here lets just say that it will be a significant loss. It was always my plan to find a Dr. that would take interest in me and take me under their wing and help. So now I have found that Dr. and I am hoping for some good results. He told me that if I ate the meal plan and took the meds that I should lose 30-60 lbs. a month. He told me that I could do that for about six months and then look at where we are at. I know you all are sitting there with your jaws dropped thinking WTF that's a lot of weight. Like I said I'm not going into numbers. When I no longer look like the Jabba The Gut I will post some before and after pictures. I didn't want to mention anything about my weight in this blog but since this will be a big part of my life then I thought I should mention it. You know when I started talking about all the hoochie momma's I'm dating your going to know something is up! ;) So if your a praying person pray that I will maintain the program and succeed. If your not a praying person an atta boy every now and again wouldn't hurt. So without further ado here is what I'm thankful for:

1. Little Christmas bonus
2. Good Dr.'s visit
3. Spending time with JD (wasn't enough though)
4. Getting some on-line shopping done
5. Company Dinners (not that I'm a company man)
6. Blogging Buddies
7. My boys
8. Iron Man 2 trailer
9. Got my "How to be a divorced father class" over with
10. I was able to help my Grandma W. out with a sliced country ham.

Hope everyone has a kick ass, Capri Sun laced with vodka, eharmony, out of tune, nerd cop dating, shredding, and smoked meat weekend!!!!!

Separation: Day 174

Last weekend I went to church. For most of you this is an every weekend deal. It used to be for me. My dad was a deacon of the church. My mom and dad didn't believe in divorce. I don't either but it only takes one for a divorce. I always prided myself for being a good man. A good man in the sense that I was a good provider, never cheated on my wife, never lost my temper, never berated or cussed my wife, good father to my boys. I always thought in that way I was a lot like my father. It wasn't till after church last weekend after all the church ladies came and gave me hugs and told me that they loved me and appreciated me coming that one lady stood out. She gave me a hug and said you remind me of your daddy. I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say. Later when I went to see my grandmother in the nursing home and told her what the lady said she told me you remind me a lot of your daddy. So all this time I was hoping I wasn't letting the memory of my father down that I was doing a pretty good job of maintaining it. "A Life Apart" is not only about divorce it's also about being a young man without both parents to lean on and plunder their knowledge of life lessons. There is no doubt in my mind that had both my parents been living that I wouldn't be going through a divorce. I loved and miss my parents and hope that someday I can feel like I have done them proud.

Separation: Day 171

It's Friday!!! Friday! F.R.I.D.A.Y!! Which don't mean a damn thing to me since I have to work Saturday!! Honestly and truly most my days are like Mondays anyway. That is what I tell everyone that comes in and says "well at least it's Friday". Really? All I know is Mondays now sign your paperwork and have a coke and a smile. :) Nah, not really. But I sure am thinking it. Welp I guess JD is leaving tonight for the Magic Kingdom. Haven't seen her since last Tuesday and I am starting to miss her a wee bit. I've had to work a little OT this week and last week and was informed the other day that we would be open for the rest of the month except for holidays. Which is good because I have five days of vacation left!!! Woo Hoo!! Vacation sucks now because I used to save my days off to be with my wife. Well unbeknownst to me while I was planning my vacations for her she was planning her exit strategy. Phase one: Break his heart and shatter it into a thousand pieces, then grind it in a coffee grinder, make some heartache coffee and use it for an enema. Phase two: blame him for everything and deny, deny, deny. Phase three: get a divorce and take him for half what he makes a month. Give her a big Borat SUCCESS!! I'm not bitter, really I'm not. ;p Without further pause here is a thankful list:

1. Not getting laid off for Christmas.
2. Going to watch old Christmas movies with JD.
3. G Force (got to watch that with my boys while the ex was out)
4. Steak fingers with mashed potatoes and gravy!! Awesome meal!!
5. Sweet Tea (for you Yankees that is tea with sugar in it) :)
6. West Wing DVD complete series my brother sent me from Iraq!!
7. Got to see Micah this week, he was testy but cute.
8. Went to church and didn't burst into flames.
9. My kick ass cell phone
10. OT

Separation: Day 168

Welp it won't be long now. This time of year is turning out harder than I thought it would be. My wife was putting out all the decorations the other day when I went to take a shower. Every year we were together she bought us an ornament for the tree. I remember them all and looked forward to seeing what she got us each year. Sadly they didn't make the tree this year. When the boys came along she got them each one for every year. We had a pretty big tree and she loved to do all the decorations. She was a Jehovah Witness when she was little and she didn't get to celebrate Christmas for a long time. The first year we were married we had a tree in the dining room and I bought her a bicycle. Those were the days. I loved to buy her lots of things. Things she needed and things she didn't know she needed. :) Just like when I was growing up our stockings were the best thing to get. We always put a prize in them and filled them with our favorite candy. Everything she learned about holiday traditions she learned from my family. We had a tradition in my family that the first person to yell "Christmas Eve Gift" got to open a present on Christmas eve. The running joke Dad always said if you open one you won't have one to open on Christmas morning. I made homemade hot chocolate and she would make monkey bread. After the kids were born we wouldn't get in bed till late in the morning. One year we bought my youngest a train table and we had to set up the table and the train. Santa was one tired mo-frigger the next morning. Then I would write each of the boys a letter and tell them how good a boy they had been and to help their mother more and clean their rooms!!! None of that will happen this year. I don't have the Christmas spirit. My wife robbed me of that when she fell for another man and then blamed me for the failure of our marriage. My oldest told me the other day that he bet that my wife could make me happy for Christmas and I told him I thought it was passed that for us. I hate having those feelings and I really would try again but it would be a long hard road. ANYWAY I am thankful for the boys and glad that they bring me much joy and consternation.

Separation: Day 164

Today I was supposed to go to a court mandated class to learn how to be a parent. I have only been one for ten years now so you would think that I'd have the hang of it by now. That is just my case though I am sure everybody knows somebody that needs this class. First off it is a class that everyone in the state of Georgia has to take when getting a divorce (if they have kids). So it's not like they are questioning my parenting skills they just want my fifty bucks. Just another expense I can chalk up to the soon to be ex. Anyway....I left the house with plenty time to spare to get to the meeting. I had printed directions, GPS, directions from a cop, and a lifeline (my friend was a phone call away). Guess what? I never found the mo-flippin place and I was like majorly pissed. I was looking at myself in the rear view cussing myself for everything I was worth. I actually felt kinda bad when I got done with all that cussing. Because there was several good words I left out!!!! So I missed this date. A hour over there and a hour back. Half tank of gas blowed all to hell and back!! There are so many things I am putting off that when I stop to think about it I get sick.

1. Selling my company stock so I can pay for divorce and refi the house.
2. Refi the house so I can tell the ex to sign here, here, here, and here. Now get the fuck out!!
3. Get the oil changed in my truck, so I don't have to walk everywhere I go.
4. Do some Christmas shopping. With my looks apparently.
5. Get my boys for more than a couple of hours.
6. Go see my Grandma P. in the nursing home. I mean I am her favorite.
7. Do something with my friend before I lose her to the magic of Disney World.
8. Take movies back.
9. Wash clothes.
10. Cook a meal instead of eating out!!!

To top it all off a little TMI is that I haven't had...well you know...in 193 days!! WTH!!! I guess I should go ahead and take my vows and put on the robe. White collar here I come.