Monday, November 23, 2009

Separation: Day 153

January 11th will be the day I thought would never come. It is the day I never saw coming. It is the day I always thought couldn't happen to a hard working, dedicated, doting husband. When I got married I fully intended on being married till death did us part. The pain is still fresh, too new to describe. I am learning to cope with the help of a friend, but she is like a fire blanket, once she is not around to smother the pain it's embers reignite. My wife told me the other day after I signed the last of the divorce papers that it would be final in January. She has no remorse her voice didn't crack and I thought I even detected some relief. After all is said and done I will have been separated from her for 202 days. Pretty much goes to show you that you can never know someone completely. She used to tell me that there was no one she loved more than me and would never leave me unless I cheated on her. She never lied to me and was always open and honest about what she was feeling. Somewhere along the way she changed and I didn't notice. I guess in a way I put too much faith in her, my happiness in life was too dependent upon her. So here goes my Thankful list:

  1. My new kick ass cell phone.
  2. Not getting laid off this week.
  3. Coupon for a free ham! Woo Hoo!!
  4. Get to keep my boys some this week.
  5. Bojangles Breakfast.
  6. Good friends in HR.
  7. Meeting some friends for supper Tuesday.
  8. The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard (awesome movie)
  9. Lifehouse, Theory of A Deadman
  10. My boys


  1. I can't really say anything you don't already know but I'll say it anyway.. It does hurt when you look back and reminisce over the love you once had, think about the wonderful times you shared and then realize that it's all over.. but you what, you can have that again with someone else and may be this time around it will be even more beautiful than the last time..and will last forever.. here's to HOPE!

  2. Bojangles breakfast is one of my top things on my thankful list too. :) Cajun filet biscuit combo to be exact. Thank goodness they don't have Bojangles in my state or I would own a restaurant. Hang in there friend. I was divorced at the ripe old age of 22. You'll find someone else. There is someone out there for everyone. I've said it before, but I'll say it again - I'm glad I got divorced so that I could meet the man of my dreams (my current love). That never would have been possible if my life hadn't taken the turns it did. You'll find love and happiness again. Just put good vibes out there and it will find its way to you.

  3. Always love the thankful list. :) Now I am super-jealous that Canada doesn't have this Bojangles thing. That and the Cheesecake Factory. Feeling downright deprived now, eh?

    I agree with Jessie...things will change for you one day if you are open to it. You seem like a very thoughtful and caring guy, so some fine lady will see that. :)

    Keep on hanging in there mister!

  4. ...but on January 11th, a new life & a light of hope will ALSO shine... :)

  5. I am still married but my husband has been having an emotional affair with a woman half his age. Now he says that he wants a divorce... we have two young kids.

    I have been fighting for our marriage, although sometimes I wonder why.

    Reading your blog has really helped me get through this time in my life. Thank you so much for sharing.

  6. I totally understand about being too dependent on the other person for your happiness...having too much faith in them...I'm still wondering WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED?? We will get thru this somehow and hopefully better days are ahead.

  7. Dang - what happened to me always being the first to comment...where did all of these readers and friends come from??? ;)

    Glad to hear you have a lot of be thankful for!!! As always, I'm thankful for your friendship and having "met" you online!!

  8. Great!!! That will be Independance Day. I'm counting the days for you. Then you can crack open an adult beverage or two to celebrate.