Separation: Day 202

The great Blizzard of 2010 is still ravaging Pickens County. The whopping 2 inches of snow we got shut down the school system for two and a half days and caused multiple accidents. Emergency crews were begging people to stay home unless it was life or death. The only things you seen on the road were four wheelers and other off road vehicles and they were going for milk, bread, eggs and beer. Hand to GOD I seen two people in full camo outside a liquor store on their Kawasaki Mule. I had to call in the first day because I couldn't get out of my sub-division and the second day I left eight hours early to go 9.5 miles. When I got home I pulled down next to the basement and....wait for it...wait for it...got stuck in my driveway!! So there I was stuck at home with nothing to eat but grits and Mike's Hard Lemonade. My wife came over and parked next to the road and cleaned out "her part" of the basement. So I reckon she is officially gone. Just before we are officially divorced. The house is shaping up a little bit now. I think my friend said she was going to come over tonight and "drink, watch a movie, and or decorate". I told her we could do all three. My youngest lost his first tooth over the weekend and he was so excited. My wife sent me a picture of him smiling. I broke down Sunday and sent my wife a message and thanked her for the best twelve years of my life, that my biggest regret was losing her, and that I would always love, want and need her. I also told her that as much as we were running in opposite directions from each other now that I hoped someday things would be better. Her response was I am coming to get the rest of my stuff today. I am really excited about seeing my friend, haven't seen her since the 27th of December. So heres hoping!!

Separation: Day 196

Damn it boy!!!! It is colder than a well diggers ass down here. Eighteen frick fracking degrees and the cold air that is coming under my office door is freezing my footsies off!! I know, I know, cry me a river, but I hate cold weather. They say fat people don't get cold. They LIED!! Plus I hate to wear coats. My mom had to force me to wear one when I was little and when I got old enough to make that decision for myself I never wear one. My excuse was that I would walk from a warm truck to a warm building I didn't need a coat. I'm about to rethink my coat wearing ways. The house is empty. The ex has about a half a load left of stuff (upstairs) and some cleaning to do before she gives me the green light. I was over there last night and she came to get another load so I left and went back to my sister's place. There was something about her carrying her stuff out while I was there that was messing me up. I went over there the other night and set and cried for about an hour just looking at the empty house and remembering the past. My friend called right in the middle of it and I couldn't speak so she told me to call her back when I could talk. The boys tickle me they are excited but they hide it well because they don't want me to think that they enjoy the new place. My oldest told me tonight my brothers room is s-m-a-l-l and my youngest looked at him and said yeah bubba that mean little. I about fell out of the big blue chair. We lived at the place for two years and never painted the first wall. The whole place was one boring color. So now that the place is empty I am going to get it painted. My friend has promised that she can work miracles that all I have to do is set a budget. There is so much that I have to buy first though. My ex got the washer, microwave, the FLAT SCREEN (just kill me now), and her dresser. I told her she could have her nightstand table but she said it was in the agreement that it was mine. She also got everything out of the boys rooms so if they come over anytime soon it's either a pallet on the floor or sleep with daddy. I don't know where to go from here now. I mean I was used to seeing her pretty much everyday but now I really don't have to see her again. I mean I can drop the boys off and not see her, she can pick them up and not see me. January 13th will be the end of it all, our marriage anyway. We will forever be in each others lives like it or not.

Separation: Day 193

It's been a while! My Christmas was all about the boys this year! I went shopping the Wednesday before Christmas and scored big time at Toys R Us. The boys were real impressed. My oldest told me that my gifts were the best but not to tell his mom he said that. I got my youngest some lego sets, action figures, and two Justice League movies. My oldest got Madden 10, Star Wars Unleashed for the Wii, and Family Guy Star Wars movie. I got them both a minature WWE wrestling ring with twelve mini-figures, and the coupe de grace a Punjabi Prison Match wrestling ring!! Daddy was king for the day!!! They were even more impressed when they found out I done all the shopping. I usually got my sissy to do it, but this year I wanted to show that I am the man!! Anyway....we went to eat at Cracker Barrel for my side of the families get together. We had a good time everyone got good gifts and I got to hold the new nephew for a while. When we were leaving I let the boys pick out gifts for their mom from the gift shop, and I found my friend a couple of things!! My sister surprised me Christmas with a stocking filled with M&M stuff, a Jason Aldean cd and a Dean Koontz book. Score!! The only thing I thought we weren't getting each other anything so hers had to wait.My friend and I got together the Saturday after Christmas and was supposed to exchange gifts but by the time we got home about 1:30am we were too pooped to exchange and promised to do it Sunday. So Sunday we met and ate at the Canton House and had sizzling rice soup (her), hot and sour soup (me), fried won tons, crab rangoons (her), General Tso's Chicken (me). It is awesome food! Then we went to the Dairy Queen and got her a banana split? WTH? Then up to the lookout to stargaze for a while. She got me a bunch of M&M stuff, a Lady Gaga cd, a book, bath brush, Yankee Candle air freshener for my truck, a Jeff Dunham dvd, and two crazy/sweet cards. I got her a snowman stocking filled with chocolate covered almonds, two bags of cheeze its, airheads, Golden Girls Season 1, Moonlighting Season 1&2, a Friendship Angel and a tiny Disney Fairy Princess flashlight for her key chain. She loved it and couldn't believe I done as good as I did. I had the week after Christmas off and didn't do anything but eat some Wendy's and watch Burn Notice on New Year's Eve. :( I did talk to my friend daily and kept her apprised of my goings on. My soon to be ex has started moving out and the house is empting out by the day. The boys are excited and my youngest calls their new place a hotel. As an aside on the weight front. When I hit the scales tonight it looks like I have lost about 38 lbs since I started. :)

Separation: Day 178

It's Friday again. Damn didn't I just post this about two days ago?? Got to see JD tonight!! Woo Hoo!! First time I have seen her since the first of the month. We talk and text everyday but there is only so much you can talk and text about. We had good conversation over Mexican food and a couple of drinks. Hers was the alcohol kind and mine was sweet tea. I have just a few more days to enjoy the sweet tea because next week I start a medically supervised weight loss program. One of the things that the Ex was adamant about was that I had to lose weight. Both the marriage councilor and the personal councilor told me that a lot of my issues were due to my weight. I'm not going to go into numbers here lets just say that it will be a significant loss. It was always my plan to find a Dr. that would take interest in me and take me under their wing and help. So now I have found that Dr. and I am hoping for some good results. He told me that if I ate the meal plan and took the meds that I should lose 30-60 lbs. a month. He told me that I could do that for about six months and then look at where we are at. I know you all are sitting there with your jaws dropped thinking WTF that's a lot of weight. Like I said I'm not going into numbers. When I no longer look like the Jabba The Gut I will post some before and after pictures. I didn't want to mention anything about my weight in this blog but since this will be a big part of my life then I thought I should mention it. You know when I started talking about all the hoochie momma's I'm dating your going to know something is up! ;) So if your a praying person pray that I will maintain the program and succeed. If your not a praying person an atta boy every now and again wouldn't hurt. So without further ado here is what I'm thankful for:

1. Little Christmas bonus
2. Good Dr.'s visit
3. Spending time with JD (wasn't enough though)
4. Getting some on-line shopping done
5. Company Dinners (not that I'm a company man)
6. Blogging Buddies
7. My boys
8. Iron Man 2 trailer
9. Got my "How to be a divorced father class" over with
10. I was able to help my Grandma W. out with a sliced country ham.

Hope everyone has a kick ass, Capri Sun laced with vodka, eharmony, out of tune, nerd cop dating, shredding, and smoked meat weekend!!!!!

Separation: Day 174

Last weekend I went to church. For most of you this is an every weekend deal. It used to be for me. My dad was a deacon of the church. My mom and dad didn't believe in divorce. I don't either but it only takes one for a divorce. I always prided myself for being a good man. A good man in the sense that I was a good provider, never cheated on my wife, never lost my temper, never berated or cussed my wife, good father to my boys. I always thought in that way I was a lot like my father. It wasn't till after church last weekend after all the church ladies came and gave me hugs and told me that they loved me and appreciated me coming that one lady stood out. She gave me a hug and said you remind me of your daddy. I was dumbfounded. I didn't know what to say. Later when I went to see my grandmother in the nursing home and told her what the lady said she told me you remind me a lot of your daddy. So all this time I was hoping I wasn't letting the memory of my father down that I was doing a pretty good job of maintaining it. "A Life Apart" is not only about divorce it's also about being a young man without both parents to lean on and plunder their knowledge of life lessons. There is no doubt in my mind that had both my parents been living that I wouldn't be going through a divorce. I loved and miss my parents and hope that someday I can feel like I have done them proud.

Separation: Day 171

It's Friday!!! Friday! F.R.I.D.A.Y!! Which don't mean a damn thing to me since I have to work Saturday!! Honestly and truly most my days are like Mondays anyway. That is what I tell everyone that comes in and says "well at least it's Friday". Really? All I know is Mondays now sign your paperwork and have a coke and a smile. :) Nah, not really. But I sure am thinking it. Welp I guess JD is leaving tonight for the Magic Kingdom. Haven't seen her since last Tuesday and I am starting to miss her a wee bit. I've had to work a little OT this week and last week and was informed the other day that we would be open for the rest of the month except for holidays. Which is good because I have five days of vacation left!!! Woo Hoo!! Vacation sucks now because I used to save my days off to be with my wife. Well unbeknownst to me while I was planning my vacations for her she was planning her exit strategy. Phase one: Break his heart and shatter it into a thousand pieces, then grind it in a coffee grinder, make some heartache coffee and use it for an enema. Phase two: blame him for everything and deny, deny, deny. Phase three: get a divorce and take him for half what he makes a month. Give her a big Borat SUCCESS!! I'm not bitter, really I'm not. ;p Without further pause here is a thankful list:

1. Not getting laid off for Christmas.
2. Going to watch old Christmas movies with JD.
3. G Force (got to watch that with my boys while the ex was out)
4. Steak fingers with mashed potatoes and gravy!! Awesome meal!!
5. Sweet Tea (for you Yankees that is tea with sugar in it) :)
6. West Wing DVD complete series my brother sent me from Iraq!!
7. Got to see Micah this week, he was testy but cute.
8. Went to church and didn't burst into flames.
9. My kick ass cell phone
10. OT

Separation: Day 168

Welp it won't be long now. This time of year is turning out harder than I thought it would be. My wife was putting out all the decorations the other day when I went to take a shower. Every year we were together she bought us an ornament for the tree. I remember them all and looked forward to seeing what she got us each year. Sadly they didn't make the tree this year. When the boys came along she got them each one for every year. We had a pretty big tree and she loved to do all the decorations. She was a Jehovah Witness when she was little and she didn't get to celebrate Christmas for a long time. The first year we were married we had a tree in the dining room and I bought her a bicycle. Those were the days. I loved to buy her lots of things. Things she needed and things she didn't know she needed. :) Just like when I was growing up our stockings were the best thing to get. We always put a prize in them and filled them with our favorite candy. Everything she learned about holiday traditions she learned from my family. We had a tradition in my family that the first person to yell "Christmas Eve Gift" got to open a present on Christmas eve. The running joke Dad always said if you open one you won't have one to open on Christmas morning. I made homemade hot chocolate and she would make monkey bread. After the kids were born we wouldn't get in bed till late in the morning. One year we bought my youngest a train table and we had to set up the table and the train. Santa was one tired mo-frigger the next morning. Then I would write each of the boys a letter and tell them how good a boy they had been and to help their mother more and clean their rooms!!! None of that will happen this year. I don't have the Christmas spirit. My wife robbed me of that when she fell for another man and then blamed me for the failure of our marriage. My oldest told me the other day that he bet that my wife could make me happy for Christmas and I told him I thought it was passed that for us. I hate having those feelings and I really would try again but it would be a long hard road. ANYWAY I am thankful for the boys and glad that they bring me much joy and consternation.