New Begining: Day 36

Welp time is flying by now and I have been divorced for more than a month and the world is still rotating and I am still alive. I didn't die from heartache like I thought I would...came close a couple of times but no cigar. The boys and I have spent the last three days together because they were out of school for two days and then the Ex had court a couple of nights. They behaved pretty good and ate everything that wasn't tied down. I mean I bought a box of Little Debbie Swiss Rolls and they were gone in one day. Really a half a day. At least they were good and sugared up for their Mom. I also got a root canal on Tuesday and that sucked ass big time. I hate a toothache more than any other kind of pain. The whole left side of my face was throbbing like a mother huncher!!!! I called early that day and they worked me in. The first thing this girl done a x-ray and the dentist stop by and said mmmm....yep there it is and gave me a shot. An hour later he came by and started drilling and I was like WTF!!! He said mmmm...that's not numb yet? YA THINK!! Nah I'm just doing the chair dance for the hell of it!!! After about 12 (no lie) more shots it was finally numb enough to drill and fix. I hate going to the dentist but my tooth didn't hurt. UNTIL the novacaine wore off. Then I took two oxycodone to help. Well that was just a little more than I was used to taking and I got pretty hammered. That would have been alright but I was at work. So rapid boys on a Swiss Roll binge and a root canal. Could be worse.

New Begining: Day 29

I was talking to a friend the other night while we were eating and the bill came and I got it. She said no I told you that I was going to get it this time you don't have that much money remember. I told her, "I've had money ever since I knew what money was" darling. She said I've never heard that before. I went on to tell her it was one of the many sayings my dad had. My dad passed away 5/1/2000 and left a huge whole in my family. None of us knew how to deal with his death, especially mom. It wasn't long after dad's death that mom and I got into it and didn't speak for a long time. I loved my dad very much and although I don't think he was ever proud of me I know he loved me. Everyone, including me, called my dad Hog. I could call him daddy all day long and he wouldn't answer. If I ever called him Hog he would look at me and say what you want boy? He was also a deacon of the church and that made for some interesting teen years conversations for me. He was a good man and he was a fair man. I got my work ethic from him and I always thought that I would be married till death do us part like he and mom was. Dad had a lot of sayings and I thought I would share a few of them with y'all!


Dad: Boy you know the only place you'll see one of these? (while making a muscle)
Son: No
Dad: On a box of Arm n Hammer Baking Soda

Son: I'm feeling froggy today old man.
Dad: Well jump up on this and crow for a while boy! (while making the Arm n Hammer muscle)

Son: How does that look daddy?  (while building something)
Dad: Looks good nail'er!

Son: Daddy you got any money?
Dad: Boy I've had money ever since I knew what money was!
or
Dad: Boy I've had money ever since I was nine years old.

Dad: You going to church this weekend?
Son: Nope got to have that money! The Bible says you can work on Sunday as long as your ox is in the ditch.
Dad: Ain't no sign you go out there every Saturday night and throw it in there either.

Dad: I can't get a long with that person for nothing.
Son: The Bible says you have to love everybody daddy.
Dad: True son but it doesn't say anything about liking them.

Son: I'm going to do it. I'm just going to do it.
Dad: Whatever son, make it light on yourself.

Dad: It's better to be silent and thought a fool than to speak up and remove all doubt.

Thus ends my sampling of "Hogisms". Just little nuggets of what I grew up with.

New Begining: Day 20

The birthday was terrific!! My boys and I went out to eat with my sister at Big John's Dawg House and we had a good time. The boys bought me a cool card and they both signed it. My oldest apologized because they didn't have me a gift but he said his mom told him they didn't have any money. I told him that spending time with him was gift enough for me!! My sister got me a Stephen King book, candle, large lighter, pen set, and a swiffer duster!! The candle and lighter was more for me and my friend because she likes the house to smell good and I didn't have a lighter because I don't smoke. When the ex dropped off the boys she dropped off a box of junk she had taken by mistake. In the box was a little box of letters that I had written to girls in high school. Read a few and it brought back a lot of memories. After the she picked the boys up I went and picked up JD who was taking me out to eat for my birthday supper. As an aside my ex never told me happy birthday. No biggie but my oldest caught on to it. She doesn't win many points with him lately. Back on point, my friend and I sit and talked in the truck about her problems for about an hour before going it to wait an hour to eat. Note to self always check in first then do your talking. We had a good meal at Outback and she kept threatening to get them to sing to me. I told her go ahead pay back is hell and her birthday is only like a week away!! After supper we went back to my house for a while and had a piece of the birthday cake she got me and watched Beverly Hill Chihuahua. Since she is such a dog lover she loved the movie. Of course as usual I gave her a foot rub while we watched the movie. I don't know why I do it because about fifteen minutes into the massage she is out like a light but I really like to see her nodding off that means I'm doing a good job. The night got cut short because I had to go into work but I had a very good day and didn't miss my ex that much. She always done birthdays up big. This year it wasn't that bad. Thanks to good friends, and family!!

New Begining: Day 16

Got to looking at my titles and thought that separation no longer fit the bill. I was hoping that I would never see  10 then 20 then 50 and I thought for certain that I would be back home in my warm bed lying next to a beautiful, loving wife by day 100. It didn't work out that way so here I am. Still a little bitter, still break down and cry some days...well most days...but I am getting by. I try to do my best as I always have. An update on the diet front is things are going good. I am sticking to my plan. It is hard as hell especially when you have co-workers bring in pizza, cookies, and cakes to tempt you with. I am on the Medifast plan. It is basically about 1000 calorie diet and you have one "home cooked" meal a day. The rest of the meals are pre portioned oatmeal, soups, shakes, and bars. Every morning I have to fight the small voice inside me begging me to stop and get a gravy biscuit with a side of bacon. Damn just typing that makes my mouth water. The first goal I have is not a set amount of weight. It is to wear pants again. Before all the weight gain I wore khaki pants everyday. I just like khaki. For going on two years now I have had to wear jogging pants. I know so cliche. My first goal is to put on a pair of khaki pants with some nice shoes and go out somewhere I  haven't felt comfortable going in joggers. You can't go to church in jogging pants, it's just not respectful, and I'm not just trying to get out of church. So when the khaki's come on then I have made it to my first goal. Thought since it was Friday I would post ten things that have made me happy thus far:

1. Blogging Awards- Go Shane! It's your birthday.
2. Coincidentally it is my birthday tomorrow!!
3. Spending time with my boys aka the Turd Birds.
4. Spending time with friends.
5. Still getting overtime.
6. Diet is going good with no major slips.
7. Nice quiet house with warm blankets.
8. Little more pep in my step.
9. Green Olives
10. My Lady Gaga cd. (guilty pleasure)

Separation: Day 215

Woo Hoo!! I have been given my second award! Just when I thought no one was reading! Bam! Out of no where two awards!!! This one is from Tony at Nut in a Lifeshell. I have to list ten things that make me happy and then list ten bloggers! So lets see if there are ten things that make me happy:

1. Clear star filled nights. (Used to care less but now it means a lot)
2. A babies laugh or smile or giggle.
3. Cooking for a big crowd of people.
4. Making someone else happy.
5. Hearing my boys tell me that they love their "Sweet Daddy".
6. Working
7. Writing blogs and poetry.
8. Reading all of my blogging buddies posts.
9. Time with my friends.
10. Someone, anyone to tell me that they love me and mean it.

And now for ten Bloggers:

1. Rockstar @ p.s. i [don't] love you
2. Mean Girl @ Mean Girl Garage
3. Tammy @ Tammy's Tale
4. Jessie @ Figuring it out
5. Court @ Tangles Out
6. Frannie @ Frannie Fires Back-Divorce, Finances, And Fabulous Shoes
7. Julie @ He Who Laughs Last Didn't Get It
8. Alyssa @ just putting it out there
9. Miss OverThinker @ Life Uncensored
10. Anna @ Little Reminders of Love

This is the Happy Award! All of the blogs and more (of course) give me happiness everyday!!

Separation: Day 213

Tammy at Tammy's Tale gave me an award!! Part of the award I have to divulge seven things about me!! Seven things about myself that I haven't already told you about. Hmmm...might be hard. So here goes my seven things:

1. I am the oldest child on both sides of the family. Therefore I was spoiled big time!
2. I work at a marble plant in Georgia. We ship to paint, sheet-rock, shingle, plastic, water treatment, chicken feed plants all over the United States. You know the chewing gum you eat? It has marble dust on it. The Tum, Tum, Tums you pop after a big bowl of chili have marble dust in them. Some of the water you drink may be run through some of our marble chips to purify it. The roads you drive on there is marble dust in the paint! So just a short lesson.
3. I have been a senior in college since 1995 and am only seven classes shy of a degree in Social Science.
4. I set out to be a teacher but couldn't afford to take the time off of work to student teach.
5. I have lived in my current house for over two years and have never step foot in the storage building.
6. I once got the breaks suspended for the whole high school for throwing a potato up against the wall. Unfortunately for me it stuck. Once I was "outed" I had to apologize before the whole school.
7. I call my boys Big Turd and Little Turd, aka the Turdies, or Turd Birds.

There it is!! Seven things! Seven things that you didn't know! Now you know. Thanks Tammy for the award and thanks to everyone for reading!!

Separation: Day 209

Last Wednesday was one long mother hunching day!! I was up for about twenty-six hours. The divorce is final. She is no loner married to me and she is free to follow her destiny. I wish her luck! 8/  I can see clearly now the snow is gone!! School was closed for five days!! The snow from my front yard finally melted and I can see my walkway again. My oldest come and spent the day with me and we worked in the basement for a while going through some of the stuff my ex left. She left a lot, a lot, a lot. JD is big time into crafting (or so she says) so she will inherit the bulk of the frilly girly stuff. Speaking of JD we met the other night and had supper at this Italian place it was pretty good and as always we set and talk for hours and then followed each other home. While we were waiting on a table to open up this woman came up to JD and asked her if she was a hairdresser (Loved IT!!) and commented that she liked the boots she was wearing. I just had made the comment that they looked like zebra skinned hooker boots (in all fairness I call all high heeled boots hooker boots). JD was really happy about that and just beamed!! Anyway....then she came back out and stuck her hand out. I took her hand and she started rubbing my hand and told me that she knew how hard it was to lose weight?! What?! Rude much?! She was really sweet though (and drunk as hell) and proceeded to rub my chest and give me testimony of her weight loss trials and then gave me a big long hug. Aweee! I told JD damn I probably could have went home with her!! Wait!! TAXI!!!!!! Back to the basement my oldest and I found all kind of good music for me to listen to. RHCP's, STP, Pearl Jam, Soundgarden, Temple of the Dog, Oasis, Beastie Boys, Beetles, Huey Lewis, Bob Segar and the list goes on and on. There was a lot of stuff I forgot I had and a lot of stuff I wish I'd lost. All in all it was a good day and I took my oldest out for Mexican afterwards for helping out. My youngest was at home with his mom because he was sick. When my ex came my youngest came in laid in bed with me for a few minutes and didn't want to leave. That really sucked!! Well all is well with me as far as everything else goes. I have some extra worries because the judge granted the ex's request for more child support than what I said I could afford. She told the judge that my mitigating circumstances was based solely upon emotions and not  financial reality. I would like very much to send a shout out to Rockstar for giving so much advice and showing me love on her blog. Also to Tammy's Tale for giving me an award!!! Woo Hoo!!! I would like to thank the academy....More on it tomorrow. Thanks Tammy and Rockstar.